Thursday, March 29, 2012

Man Crush Bracket, Fast Forwarding to the Final Four

So wassup ya'll? Long time no bracket, probably because I had to find a way to tally up votes, which was rough and I didn't plan this whole "How will I count votes?" thing very well. So I took a while, counted them all up, and I'm going to go through a few of the big upsets and then list the Final Four, hopefully with your collective winner being announced on Monday (Maybe). Without any further delay...you are looking live.

So a few upsets came about, Peyton Manning (15) scorched his way deep into the tournament in the "Athletes" division. Homo Erectus (14) and Marco Polo (15) also had early upsets in the "History" division. The "Actors" division was pretty much chalk, only minor upsets of Mark Walhberg (10) over Aaron Ekhart (7) and the Tom Hanks (4) versus Liam Neesson (13) match was a nail biter with Tom Hanks barely squeaking out a win (Roughly 52-48). Finally, the "Entertainers" division was 100% chalk. So now onto your Final Four.

Peyton Manning (15) versus Morgan Freeman aka God (1)

Cinderella...well, not really I guess. Peyton should have been a higher seed but oh well, he's here now. In a matchup of the God of Quarterbacks versus the God of Gods. Manning defeated Lance Armstrong (2), Steve Blake (8), Bryant (13), and Cal Rikpen Jr. (8) while Freeman torched through Dominic's Friends (16), Capitan Dick Winters (9), Anthony Nelson (5), and Marco Polo (15).
My Prediction: Morgan Freeman might be the man, but Peyton has America at his back (And Denver) so I need to pick Cinderella. Get some Peyton, just don't let them hit your neck.

Denzel Washington (5) versus Adam Richman (8)

This is my "WHAT THE HELL?" Final. Denzel is no surprise, but Adam Richman is a little bit. Granted, his job is to travel the US and eat. And be on TV, make corny puns, and eat. That's his job. I'm jealous, and the more I think about it, he deserves it. My "Entertainers" division was really weak, sorry haha. But, he is against John Q, Eli, Tobin Frost, Creasy, Frank Lucas, Jake Shuttlesworth, Alonzo Harris, and Coach Herman Boone. Denzel is so damn dreamy.
My Prediction: Denzel. Duh.

So now that this bracket is coming to an end, I hope you've all enjoyed it. The responses on Twitter, Facebook, and the e-mails were good. Thanks for all the input and for reaming me out for the people I forgot haha. For next year I have already come up with my bracket idea and I think ya'll will like it. But I won't tell you until then. Thanks again, and I have to do one more of these posts and I can get back to my old stuff haha.

Monday, March 19, 2012

Man Crush Bracket, Round One, Day Eight

So after this one, I have to collect the votes, Round Two will be one day, I have all the votes tallied but you can still vote if you wanna. Enjoy Day Eight.

ATHLETES - Number 08 Blake Griffin versus Number 09 Calvin Johnson

NAME: Blake Griffin
CLAIM TO FAME: Stud forward at Oklahoma and current LA Clipper and NBA All Star.
WHY YOU SHOULD CRUSH ON BLAKE: He's the best dunker in the NBA right now, and he's a character off the court, in the good way.
NAME: Calvin Johnson
CLAIM TO FAME: Stud wideout on my fantasy teams, in his free time he plays for the Lions.
WHY YOU SHOULD CRUSH ON CALVIN: He's a Highlight machine and any wide out you need to double cover deserves a spot on the list.

HISTORICAL FIGURES - Number 08 John D. Rockefeller versus Number 09 Cpt. Dick Winters

NAME: John D. Rockefeller
CLAIM TO FAME: He was rich.
WHY YOU SHOULD CRUSH ON JOHN: What guy doesn't wanna be rich? Or what girl for that matter.
NAME: Cpt. Dick Winters
CLAIM TO FAME: Hero of the Airborne in WWII
WHY YOU SHOULD CRUSH ON DICK: He was an inspirational leader and helped to win the war effort. If you wanna know more about him, watch "Band of Brothers".

ACTORS - Number 08 Edward Norton versus Number 09 Samuel L. Jackson

NAME: Edward Norton
CLAIM TO FAME: Famous actor.
WHY YOU SHOULD CRUSH ON EDWARD: The Italian Job. American History X. Fight Club. Need I say more?
NAME: Samuel L. Jackson
CLAIM TO FAME: More famous actor that Edward. Why is he the lower seed? I dunno.
WHY YOU SHOULD CRUSH ON SAMUEL: He's Samuel L. Jackson, think of a movie...he's innit.

ENTERTAINERS - Number 08 Adam Richman versus Number 09 Bernie Mac

NAME: Adam Richman
CLAIM TO FAME: Host of Travel Channels "Man Versus Food"
WHY YOU SHOULD CRUSH ON ADAM : He goes around the country eating,how good does that sound?
NAME: Bernie Mac
CLAIM TO FAME: Comedian and actor who sadly, died far too young.
WHY YOU SHOULD CRUSH ON BERNIE: He was an awesome actor and comedian, he could wrap audiences around his finger so easily, it's hard not to look up to him.

Friday, March 16, 2012

Man Crush Bracket, Round One, Day Seven

ATHLETES - Number 07 Steve Blake versus Number 10 Andre Carter

NAME: Steve Blake
CLAIM TO FAME: Superstar at University of Maryland and current NBA journeyman.
WHY YOU SHOULD CRUSH ON STEVE: He's just a little white boy who can ball. Local love.
NAME: Andre Carter
CLAIM TO FAME: Former Cal Golden Bear and current NFL journeyman
WHY YOU SHOULD CRUSH ON ANDRE: He's an intelleghent football monster, and Mike Sellers (Everyone's favorite 3 seed) once said "Andre? He's got muscles on his muscles."

HISTORICAL FIGURES - Number 07 George Washington Carver versus Number 10 Mark Twain

NAME: George Washington Carver
CLAIM TO FAME: Agricultural researcher.
WHY YOU SHOULD CRUSH ON GEORGE: If it weren't for him, we wouldn't have peanut products...like peanut butter. So he's the best.
NAME: Mark Twain
CLAIM TO FAME: American Author
WHY YOU SHOULD CRUSH ON MARK: He inspired many an episode of Wishbone, and was a hell of an author.

ACTORS - Number 07 Aaron Ekhart versus Number 10 Mark Walhberg

NAME: Aaron Ekhart
CLAIM TO FAME: Famous Actor
WHY YOU SHOULD CRUSH ON AARON: He was awesome in "Thank You For Smoking", played a beautiful role in "Dark Knight" and "Any Given Sunday".
NAME: Mark Wahlberg
CLAIM TO FAME: Famous actor and badass.
WHY YOU SHOULD CRUSH ON MARKY MARK: He's a badass...and an actor. Duh.

ENTERTAINERS - Number 07 Jamie Foxx versus Number 10 Michael Buble

NAME: Jamie Foxx
CLAIM TO FAME: Comedian, Singer, and Actor
WHY YOU SHOULD CRUSH ON JAMIE: He's a classy actor, and classy guy. "Blame it on the alcohol."
NAME: Michael Buble
CLAIM TO FAME: Cover singer
WHY YOU SHOULD CRUSH ON MICHAEL: If you wanna get your lady in the mood play him, but, it will only put her in the mood for him...

Wednesday, March 14, 2012

Man Crush Bracket, Round One, Day Six

ATHLETES - Number 06 Brian Orakpo versus Number 11 Vernon Davis

NAME: Brian Orakpo
CLAIM TO FAME: Former Texas Longhorn and current Washington Redskin's outside linebacker
WHY YOU SHOULD CRUSH ON BRIAN: He's jacked as shit, has a crazy deep voice, and terrorizes quarterbacks with a devastating pass rush technique.
NAME: Vernon Davis
CLAIM TO FAME: Former Maryland Terrapin and current San Francisco 49er
WHY YOU SHOULD CRUSH ON VERNON: Another local kid, he went from team outcast to emotional leader on and off the field, and was a playoff hero for the 49ers.

HISTORICAL FIGURES - Number 06 Glen Bell versus Number 11 John Jameson

NAME: Glen Bell
CLAIM TO FAME: Inventor/Founder of Taco Bell
WHY YOU SHOULD CRUSH ON GLEN: You can thank him every time you're hungry at 2AM, or when all you have is a nickel to spend for a full meal.
NAME: John Jameson
CLAIM TO FAME: John Jameson Whiskey
WHY YOU SHOULD CRUSH ON JOHN: If you're like me, you've been hammered off his brand. Thanks, John!

ACTORS - Number 06 Jason Segal versus Number 11 Tyrese Gibson

NAME: Jason Segal
CLAIM TO FAME: From "How I Met Your Mother" and "Forgetting Sarah Marshall".
WHY YOU SHOULD CRUSH ON JASON: He was in the ultimate man crush movie when he starred in "I Love You, Man" and who wouldn't wanna hang out with Marhsall from "How I Met Your Mother"?
NAME: Tyrese Gibson
CLAIM TO FAME: Acted in Fast and Furious and Transformers.
WHY YOU SHOULD CRUSH ON TYRESE: He's a staple in "guy" movies from Transformers to Death Race and Four Brothers and The Fast Series.

ENTERTAINERS - Number 06 Kevin Hart versus Number 11 Chris Rock

NAME: Kevin Hart
CLAIM TO FAME: One of the most popular stand up comedians out there.
WHY YOU SHOULD CRUSH ON KEVIN: He's hilarious and makes his life stories hilarious, his Twitter is also a must follow.
NAME: Chris Rock
CLAIM TO FAME: Stand up comedian
WHY YOU SHOULD CRUSH ON CHRIS: Kinda like Hart, Chris Rock told (and still tells) it like it is, and now he acts, produces, directs, and still tours in a light capacity.

Monday, March 12, 2012

Man Crush Bracket, Round One, Day Five

Mike Sellers was cut by the Redskins today, and I kinda hate the NFL right now...Here's Day Five

ATHLETES - Number 05 Cal Ripken Jr. versus Number 12 "Pistol" Pete Maravich

NAME: Cal Ripken Jr
CLAIM TO FAME: Hero of Baltimore and baseball's ultimate Ironman.
WHY YOU SHOULD CRUSH ON CAL: He made a city love baseball and is one of the most humble players to set foot on a baseball diamond.
NAME: "Pistol" Pete Maravich
CLAIM TO FAME: Played guard at LSU, then went on to play professionally in the NBA for Atlanta, New Orleans, Utah, and Boston.
WHY YOU SHOULD CRUSH ON PETE: He was one of the best ball handlers of all time and dominated the fundamentals of the game.

HISTORICAL FIGURES - Number 05 Anthony versus Number 12 Mr. Rogers

NAME: Anthony
CLAIM TO FAME: Former DM Stag and all around champion.
WHY YOU SHOULD CRUSH ON ANTHONY: As you can see, he's too sexy to handle, so yeah. Man crush away.
NAME: Mr. Rogers
CLAIM TO FAME: Hosted a show that everyone my age should have watched.
WHY YOU SHOULD CRUSH ON MR. ROGERS: On second thought, this feels creepy. Meow meow meow meow meow meow.

ACTORS - Number 05 Denzel Washington versus Number 12 Paul Walker

NAME: Denzel Washington
CLAIM TO FAME: He's done countless amazing movies from John Q to Remember the Titans and Unstoppable to Training Day.
WHY YOU SHOULD CRUSH ON DENZEL: He plays a amazing bad ass in every movie he's in, and he's DENZEL FREAKING WASHINGTON.
NAME: Paul Walker
CLAIM TO FAME: He's fast, and furious.
WHY YOU SHOULD CRUSH ON PAUL: He got to hang out with Jessica Alba in a bikini, VinDiesel in a bikini, and he's just getting by on looks. Sorry, he's a "Fan Vote". Like Chris Bosh in the NBA All Star game.

ENTERTAINERS - Number 05 Stephen Colbert versus Number 12 Eric Hutchinson

NAME: Stephen Colbert
CLAIM TO FAME: Political pundit, comedian, activist, and author.
WHY YOU SHOULD CRUSH ON STEPHEN: He is America. Duh.
NAME: Eric Hutchinson
CLAIM TO FAME: Singer/Songwriter
WHY YOU SHOULD CRUSH ON ERIC: I have a thing for local talent, and Eric is one of the best (And, like Birbiglia, needs to be better known). His light, fun, improv songs at concerts are amazing, check him out.

Wednesday, March 7, 2012

Man Crush Bracket, Round One, Day Four

Day Four, halfway through round one!

ATHLETES - Number 04 Michael Jordan versus Number 13 Jimmy Graham

NAME: Michael Jordan
CLAIM TO FAME: Greatest basketball player the world has ever and will ever see.
WHY YOU SHOULD CRUSH ON MICHAEL: He's got game, the killer instinct, and probably the most well known shoe out there. And he's loaded. Like, really loaded.
NAME: Jimmy Graham
CLAIM TO FAME: Former University of Miami basketball player, currently plays tight end for the New Orleans Saints.
WHY YOU SHOULD CRUSH ON JIMMY: He carried my fantasy team this year. 'Nuff said.

HISTORICAL FIGURES - Number 04 Michael Collins versus Number 13 Patrick Pearse

NAME: Michael Collins
CLAIM TO FAME: The greatest Irish leader of all time.
WHY YOU SHOULD CRUSH ON MICHAEL: If you're Irish, like me, you love him for fighting for Irish freedom. If you're not, his name is on a lot of whiskey brands. Also, he died trying to get his country free.
NAME: Patrick Pearse
CLAIM TO FAME: Irish poet, writer, nationalist, and teacher
WHY YOU SHOULD CRUSH ON PATRICK: Another great Irish leader that died for his country and still has a lasting effect to this date.

ACTORS - Number 04 Tom Hanks versus Number 13 Liam Neeson

NAME: Tom Hanks
CLAIM TO FAME: Think of one of a great movie, he was in it.
WHY YOU SHOULD CRUSH ON TOM: He's acted in every genre from drama to comedy, war films to romantic comedies and killed it playing every role. He also now produces, writes, and directs.
NAME: Liam Nesson
CLAIM TO FAME: Another great actor (Minus Star Wars...)
WHY YOU SHOULD CRUSH ON LIAM: He's kind of a quiet bad ass, movies like "Taken" and "The Grey.

ENTERTAINERS - Number 04 Mike Birbiglia versus Number 13 Conan O'Brien

NAME: Mike Birbiglia
CLAIM TO FAME: Stand up comedian from Shrewsberry, MA.
WHY YOU SHOULD CRUSH ON MIKE: He's the "average man" out there, and not famous enough yet. Do yourself a favor and go on YouTube and look up his "I'm a bear, etc" bit. Priceless.
NAME: Conan O'Brien
CLAIM TO FAME: Former NBC and current TBS late night show host, he also wrote for "The Simpsons".
WHY YOU SHOULD CRUSH ON CONAN: He's mostly here cuz Jay Leno screwed him over (I hate you, Jay) and he's also flawlessly funny.

Monday, March 5, 2012

Man Crush Bracket, Round One Day Three

Day Three, so far I'm shocked that I'm still on schedule. Go me! Putting down the heroin needle was the best thing I coulda done...
Also, in case you start to wonder what's up with the Historical Figures selections, that's a really tough category haha. Please bear with me.

ATHLETES - Number 03 Mike Sellers versus Number 14 Kobe Bryant

NAME: Mike Sellers
CLAIM TO FAME: Washington Redskins fullback, 7th most ripped player in the NFL, and the only man for me.
WHY YOU SHOULD CRUSH ON MIKE: Uhh. To me, this is like telling you why football is beautiful, breathing is important, and why, well, I'm out of snippy things to say. "Caveman" is a beast on the field, flat lining safeties, toting the rock, and crying at spring training when they told him he was gonna be a daddy. Sensitive, and sexy. I'm biased, cleary.
NAME: Kobe "Not The Beef" Bryant
CLAIM TO FAME: Only one of the greatest basketball players of all time. Suck it LeBron, you're going bald.
WHY YOU SHOULD CRUSH ON KOBE: Who hasn't played a game of basketball and not wanted to be the Black Mamba? He's a winner, through and through, has that killer instinct some NBA stars (LeBron...) don't have. He's also the only player I'd be okay with getting one more ring than MJ.

HISTORICAL FIGURES - Number 03 President Eisenhower versus Number 14 Homo Erectus

NAME: Dwight Eisenhower
CLAIM TO FAME: Our 34th President and first Supreme Commander of NATO.
WHY YOU SHOULD CRUSH ON DWIGHT: Not only was he a bad ass General (He woulda made Call of Duty better) he also sent the troops to Little Rock, Arkansas to help enforce integration.
NAME: Homo Erectus, aka "Cavemen"
CLAIM TO FAME: Fire, the wheel, and the fact that "Homo Erectus" sounds dirty and makes me laugh.
WHY YOU SHOULD CRUSH ON HOMO: I have no good reason, just reading "Why You Should Crush On Homo." is funny as shit though.

ACTORS - Number 03 Will Smith versus Number 14 Zachary Levi

NAME: Will Smith
CLAIM TO FAME: Blockbuster smash hits like "I Am Legend", "I, Robot", "Men In Black", and "Independence Day" as well as "Fresh Prince of Bel Air".
WHY YOU SHOULD CRUSH ON WILL: He's Will Smith. "Welcome to Earth." That guy.
NAME: Zachary Levi
CLAIM TO FAME: Star of NBC's Chuck.
WHY YOU SHOULD CRUSH ON ZACH: He gets to make out with Yvonne Strahoski (Or something like that.).

ENTERTAINERS - Number 03 Donald Glover versus Number 14 B.o.B.

NAME: Donald Glover
CLAIM TO FAME: First starred in "Derrick Comedy" on YouTube, wrote for "30 Rock", acted in "Community", raps under the name "Childish Gambino", and has two stand up specials on ComedyCentral.
WHY YOU SHOULD CRUSH ON DONALD: Anyone who can blow the roof off your party with rap then wind everyone down with hilarious stand up should always be man crushed.
NAME: Bobby Ray Simmons aka B.o.B
CLAIM TO FAME: The Atlanta based rapper burst onto the scene in 2010 rapping with Hayley Williams, T.I., and Janelle Monae on his debut album.
WHY YOU SHOULD CRUSH ON B.o.B: There's something about the up and coming mix tape rappers that just seems more pure. Plus, B.o.B raps with a live band (Unlike Lil Wayne, who blows so hard). And sang with Andre 3000. Who doesn't love him?

Saturday, March 3, 2012

Man Crush Bracket, Round One, Day Two

Day Two, keep the vote's coming everyone but first, I wanna just say that this is my personal man crush list, I get that it doesn't agree with everyone out there, but I don't care haha. Well, I do, but I'm taking suggestions in case this is a hit and we do it again.
Now onto the match-ups...

ATHLETES - Number 02 Lance Armstrong versus Number 15 Peyton Manning

NAME: Lance Armstrong
CLAIM TO FAME: Seven Tour de France victories, the most by any American rider, kicked cancers ass, started the LIVESTRONG foundation to help find a cure, and he's really hated by the French.
WHY YOU SHOULD CRUSH ON LANCE: He's a winner. 'Nuf said.
NAME: Peyton Manning
CLAIM TO FAME: Colt's (Well, maybe "Former Colt's...") Quarterback for the last fourteen seasons, four time league MVP, and star of hilarious commercials and SNL skits.
WHY YOU SHOULD CRUSH ON PEYTON: I mean, what guy with man crushes doesn't like football? Or hilarious TV appearances? Even though his little brother is "better".

HISTORICAL FIGURES - Number 02 Sasquatch versus Number 15 Marco Polo

NAME: Sasquatch
CLAIM TO FAME: Inspired a music festival, and he is the f****** Sasquatch.
WHY YOU SHOULD MAN CRUSH ON SASQUATCH: What man hasn't wanted to run away from his wife? Girlfriend? Job? Other stuff? Sasquatch did, and he became the best at it, cuz no one can find him.
NAME: Marco Polo
CLAIM TO FAME: Invented the game "Marco Polo".
WHY YOU SHOULD MAN CRUSH ON MARCO: If it weren't for him you would never be able to reach second base with that cute girl at the pool party. Thanks Marco!

ACTORS - Number 02 Brad Pitt versus Number 15 Aldis Hodge

NAME: Brad Pitt
CLAIM TO FAME: The Ocean's series, Fight Club, dated Jennifer Anniston, and killed Nazi's with that little kid intern from the Office.
WHY YOU SHOULD CRUSH ON BRAD: I mean, I'm straight, but that man is fine as hell. And he's been in a lot of amazing movies. That's really all I got, I' busy watching Moneyball while I type this, another awesome Brad movie.
NAME: Aldis Hodge
CLAIM TO FAME: He snuck in the list. He's also on the TV drama "Leverage".
WHY YOU SHOULD MAN CRUSH ON ALDIS: He plays an awesome character on the show, and he's one of those guys that's constantly on TV and the movies and you're like "Oh yeah, that guy! Who is he?" Aldis is "he".

ENTERTAINERS - Number 02 Jon Stewart versus Number 15 Zane Lamprey

NAME: Jon Stewart
CLAIM TO FAME: Host of Comedy Central's Daily Show, Stewart has torn through the "American youth" and has put a fun, tolerable way to view politics out there for the crowd born in the 80s and beyond.
WHY YOU SHOULD CRUSH ON JON: He's changing the world, he had millions(ish) show up to his "Rally to Restore Sanity" in DC, and most important, he makes you laugh for thirty minutes every night while still delivering the news.
NAME: Zane Lamprey
CLAIM TO FAME: The former stand up comedian now host's "Drinking Made Easy" on HDNet.
WHY YOU SHOULD CRUSH ON ZANE: He literally drinks and travels for a living. If you ever see an episode, they travel, drink, and it's just fun to watch someone get progressively drunker and drunker.