Last night, the DMV, hell, the world saw the first game of the greatest player in the NFL. Hell, we saw the first game of the greatest athlete in the world.
Robert Griffin the Third. RGIII. R-Jesus. Grif. Bob Griffin. Cool Hand Robert. Robert "Subway Eat Fresh" Griffin the III. The Baylor Bomber. The Waco Kid. The Visored Visionary. The Shanahan Savior. The Snyder Savior. The Adidas Answer. Robert "TO Wants You To Be His Quarterback" Griffin. The Anti-Beck. The Anti-Grossman. The Anti-Ramsey. The Potential Cowboy, uh, Killer.
Okay, I'm out. But he's the best to ever lace them up for the Redskins. Well, probably the best to lace em up ever. He's replaced all the other greats like Troy Aikman, Drew Bledsoe, Tony Romo, Heath Shuler, JaMarcus Russell, Kyle Boller, Timmy Couch, Akili Smith, and Brett Favre. That's my top ten QBs of all time, RGIII is at the top of the list, duh!!!!!!!!!!!!
I mean, last night against that amazing Bills defense (Iron Curtain Part Two anyone?!?!), he threw four absolutely perfect passes, passes that were guided by the wings of cherubs from the mouths of babes by the hands of God. Boom.
And have you ever seen a quarterback drop back so eloquently? Each step was like he was floating, just dancing into the backfield before zipping out one of those cherubs-babes-God passes for another sure fire completion. I think Evan Royster should be banned from the league for dropping that hand off, how dare he blemish the legacy of a preseason start for R-Jesus?!? I cannot wait for the next game against the Chicago Cubs. It will be amazing to see this young super stud dominate again.
This is all a joke, in case people couldn't tell. Did I like what I saw from Grif tonight? Yeah. But the DMV needs to tone this shit down. Let's not anoint the kid anymore than we already have. Until next time...All hail.
Showing posts with label #HTTR. Show all posts
Showing posts with label #HTTR. Show all posts
Friday, August 10, 2012
Tuesday, July 31, 2012
Danger, Sports!
Hi, my name is Sam, and I'm addicted to the Washington Redskins. I've been addicted for, oh, I don't know, about twenty one years now...there was a brief time when I was born where I was addicted to a Shoppers Warehouse commercial but that's neither here nor there.
Why am I writing about this? I've made my love of the Redskins known for sometime now, I'm an addict, as I said, no one will ever doubt that. I'm writing about this today cuz as of late, a lot of people have been coming up to me, talking football, and then saying "Why are you a Redskins fan? They're terrible, root for a new team."
If you say that to me, you're a f****** idiot who clearly doesn't know much about football and upon hearing those words leave your mouth I instantly think "Gee, you'd fit perfectly in front of a fast moving bus". You're the kind of "fan" that roots for the Cowboys, even though you were born in Hagerstown or Potomac. You're just an asshole who likes to ruffle feathers with stupid, pointless jabs, misguided comments, or asshole-ian assholiness. And I hate you for it.
Should it be that big a deal to me? Probably not, it might be worth the gray hairs I have (At the ripe old age of 22).
Okay, back to my answer to the "Why are you still a Redskins question?", after I destroy them with harsh words, I straight up tell them it's cuz that's my hometown team. That's how this stuff works. Oh, you were born in Pittsburgh? You should root for the Steelers. Born in St. Louis? Welcome to the Rams bandwagon.
Now, there are exceptions, say you live in New York, but your parents are from Miami and have always rooted for the Dolphins. Free pass to root for the 'Fins. Congrats. That's the exception. I dunno why I said "exceptions".
The Redskins are in my blood. My father is a Skins fan, my uncles, my cousins, and most of my friends, or at least the ones I truly care about.
I live and die with that team, and people wanna know "Since they always suck why not jump ship?" Well, cuz I watched the Caps go from cellar dwellers to the top, the Nats go from "also rans" to hopefully (Fingers crossed) perennial pennant winners. Maybe it's some incredible false hope that I have that one day (Cue dramatic music), one day in February, I will stand on Pennsylvania Avenue, shoulder to shoulder with my burgundy and gold clad Brothers, as the parade winds down the street to chants of "Hail to the Redskins".
Honest to God I would weep. So I dunno what else to say, I love my team, so back off. Love your team. This feels like an oddly angry post with uh, no real flow at all haha.
Until next time.
 |
| Jesus Christ, this idiot. |
If you say that to me, you're a f****** idiot who clearly doesn't know much about football and upon hearing those words leave your mouth I instantly think "Gee, you'd fit perfectly in front of a fast moving bus". You're the kind of "fan" that roots for the Cowboys, even though you were born in Hagerstown or Potomac. You're just an asshole who likes to ruffle feathers with stupid, pointless jabs, misguided comments, or asshole-ian assholiness. And I hate you for it.
Should it be that big a deal to me? Probably not, it might be worth the gray hairs I have (At the ripe old age of 22).
Okay, back to my answer to the "Why are you still a Redskins question?", after I destroy them with harsh words, I straight up tell them it's cuz that's my hometown team. That's how this stuff works. Oh, you were born in Pittsburgh? You should root for the Steelers. Born in St. Louis? Welcome to the Rams bandwagon.
Now, there are exceptions, say you live in New York, but your parents are from Miami and have always rooted for the Dolphins. Free pass to root for the 'Fins. Congrats. That's the exception. I dunno why I said "exceptions".
 |
| R-Jesus |
The Redskins are in my blood. My father is a Skins fan, my uncles, my cousins, and most of my friends, or at least the ones I truly care about.
I live and die with that team, and people wanna know "Since they always suck why not jump ship?" Well, cuz I watched the Caps go from cellar dwellers to the top, the Nats go from "also rans" to hopefully (Fingers crossed) perennial pennant winners. Maybe it's some incredible false hope that I have that one day (Cue dramatic music), one day in February, I will stand on Pennsylvania Avenue, shoulder to shoulder with my burgundy and gold clad Brothers, as the parade winds down the street to chants of "Hail to the Redskins".
Honest to God I would weep. So I dunno what else to say, I love my team, so back off. Love your team. This feels like an oddly angry post with uh, no real flow at all haha.
Until next time.
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