Last night, the DMV, hell, the world saw the first game of the greatest player in the NFL. Hell, we saw the first game of the greatest athlete in the world.
Robert Griffin the Third. RGIII. R-Jesus. Grif. Bob Griffin. Cool Hand Robert. Robert "Subway Eat Fresh" Griffin the III. The Baylor Bomber. The Waco Kid. The Visored Visionary. The Shanahan Savior. The Snyder Savior. The Adidas Answer. Robert "TO Wants You To Be His Quarterback" Griffin. The Anti-Beck. The Anti-Grossman. The Anti-Ramsey. The Potential Cowboy, uh, Killer.
Okay, I'm out. But he's the best to ever lace them up for the Redskins. Well, probably the best to lace em up ever. He's replaced all the other greats like Troy Aikman, Drew Bledsoe, Tony Romo, Heath Shuler, JaMarcus Russell, Kyle Boller, Timmy Couch, Akili Smith, and Brett Favre. That's my top ten QBs of all time, RGIII is at the top of the list, duh!!!!!!!!!!!!
I mean, last night against that amazing Bills defense (Iron Curtain Part Two anyone?!?!), he threw four absolutely perfect passes, passes that were guided by the wings of cherubs from the mouths of babes by the hands of God. Boom.
And have you ever seen a quarterback drop back so eloquently? Each step was like he was floating, just dancing into the backfield before zipping out one of those cherubs-babes-God passes for another sure fire completion. I think Evan Royster should be banned from the league for dropping that hand off, how dare he blemish the legacy of a preseason start for R-Jesus?!? I cannot wait for the next game against the Chicago Cubs. It will be amazing to see this young super stud dominate again.
This is all a joke, in case people couldn't tell. Did I like what I saw from Grif tonight? Yeah. But the DMV needs to tone this shit down. Let's not anoint the kid anymore than we already have. Until next time...All hail.
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