"Me Book", Part Two

Here's Part Two of my "Me Book".  Enjoy.

Here's the dedication page.  Me hanging out with Jay-Breezy, who the epic book is dedicated too.  This one's pretty easy to read so I won't transcribe it.  It's also an epic picture.

I am a good student.
I am a good son.
I am a funny brother.
I am a good drawer.
I am a talented reader.
I am a kind grandson.
I am a calm fisher.
I am a fast "swimer".
I am a good biker.

Ok, so let me talk about this one real quick.  Most of those are lies (Drawer, "calm' fisher, and "swimer"), but the rest are true.  Actually, if you've seen me "swim" you already knew that was a lie.  I don't swim so much as a flail, splash, and move slowly through the water like an injured, leg-less alligator.  Cuz that's how I roll.

"I am Sam Carroll.  My birthday is March 14, 1990.  My favorite colors are blue, green, and red.  My hobbys are reading and baseball.  I am 9 years old.  I live in Bowie, Maryland.  There are 4 people in my family Dad, Mom, Me, and Brain."

 So I'll break this one down.  All sentences are 100% true (Whaaaaa!), and prepare to hear a lot about baseball coming up in the rest of these.  This also marks a huge moment in life that we hadn't noticed yet.  My brother's name is "Brian", but I wrote "Brain", his nickname since he was little.

You're welcome, Bro.

Here's my mirror.  You can see how accurate the drawing of me is in the middle.

All The Pieces, Pieces, Pieces Of Me...

Who remembers that Ashlee Simpson song?  And who wants to stop reading this post cuz I titled it after that abortion of a "hit"?  Everyone, even I don't want to write this anymore but I owe it to you all, and you all owe it to yourselves to keep reading, I have big news.

In 4th grade at St. Pius X in Bowie, MD (Represent!) all three clases started a assignment called a "Me Book".  These books were filled with little assignments and things to tell everyone what we were all about and how we saw the world.  Many of my classmate's editions probably got thrown in the trash or lost somewhere throughout the years, not mine.

Mine sits in my bedroom, next to a thesaurus, dictionary, books about Irish culture, and other "reference" books.  That's really where it belongs, it's a reference book to what I was as a kid.  Who I was as a kid.  It also kills with the ladies.  And I mean kills man.

So I'll stop talking about it, and post the beginning of the book.  More will come later, but I don't want to bomb you all with multiple pages of epic-icity.

Enjoy my "Me Book".

As you can all see, this pretty much sums me up.  I'm just your run of the mill nice fisherman how was God loving and quick.  I may have been a lot of things, but I've never been quick.  I was high clearly.  Also, I used to be blonde.  

And the back cover.  In the picture, you can see me driving like a champion, and my brother, Brian, crashing into the wall.  Also peep my sweet paper mache job with my initials, clearly I left "artist" off my sweet list of "SamWow BuzzWords".

That's all you get for now.  Stay tuned, part two is coming real soon.  Promise.

I'm Just Vomiting A Post, Part Something Or Other

Last night, I laughed so hard my ribs hurt.  Badly.

I was hanging out with two of my closest friends (My cousin Greg and our Bro Anthony) eating wings, drinking beers, and watching "End of Watch" (Which is an amazing movie, that everyone should go buy and watch a hundred times).  Overall, we just goofed on each other, other people, and started an awesome club which is in no way a joke about a "famous" movie about Cowboys.

So all that being said, I've decided to write nothing more about that, and instead just bullet point random thoughts I've had since the last time I blogged for you.

That's right, America.  Get cised for another "I'm Just Vomiting A Post" Post.  Which you all really love, probably because it's a legit look into my brain.  Scary place.

1. I am in love with Anna Kendrick.  And the movie "Pitch Perfect", which one a scale of one to ten, is an  eleven.  If you see it and don't like it, I'll sprinkle salt into my eyes.  I dunno what that will do, but it can't end well.
2. I was driving to the gym today and Michelle Branch's "Everywhere" came on the radio.  Naturally, I cranked the radio all the way up and started singing and dancing to it (If you need that image in your head, picture a big white guy with his hat on backwards gyrating and lip synching in his car).  That will always be one of those songs that gets me.  It's awesome.
3. I'm really excited for baseball season to start, and I'm also depressed that Caps haven't played in days.
4. If you like to lift weights at the gym, always poop first.  It's really tough to control your muscles uh, down there, when you're benching and it's a disaster waiting to happen.
5. I learned that in everyone's tail bone there is a bone named the "coccyx" (Pronounced cocks-ix, maybe).  I find that hilarious because that means there is literally a coccyx in everyone's butt.  If that doesn't make you laugh, you have no soul.
6. All kidding aside, when I heard that I laughed for like two minutes.  I also laughed really hard when I wrote that.  Cuz I'm practically twelve.
7. I think the word "joan"/"joaning" is totally under used once you leave PG County.  Other words that are under used outside of "Gawjus Prince Gawjus"?  Silly, nubs, donk, bazilly, and cised.
8. Never date a famous girl.  I didn't know this until recently, but it really messes with a man's ego when she calls you and mentions "Oh, I'll be in a date auction for charity."  I replied with "Oh, I'll be at the next table...with mace and a sock full of pennies."
9. My song this year for those summer nights I spend cruising around town is "Miles Davis & The Cool" by The Gaslight Anthem.  Go listen to it now.
10. The other day, I was in the grocer's and I picked up a basket and my greatest dilema came back to haunt me.  How do you carry the basket in a manly way?  If anyone can answer that, please hit me up on Twitter @therealSamWow.

The "Manly" way, as of now.

Well, that's it for now.  I hope to have a more normal post next.

Peace and love, you groovy hippies.





What the hell was that closer all about?  Jesus.

Pause For A Good Cause // Part Two

Hey everyone, remember me? SamWow?  Of course you do, I'm pretty legendary around here.

A while back, I posted my first "Pause For A Good Cause" for my friend Kate's "Swim Across America" fundraiser to help find/fund a cure for cancer.  It went over pretty well, Kate was shocked and happy (I think) that some of you contributed to help her out and I think it's time to do it again for a new charity: Wounded Warrior Project (WWP).

Founded in 2002, WWP is a non-profit organization built to "honor and empower wounded warriors", founded by veterans, for the veterans, and they do amazing work.

Click the link for more information about WWP.

How did I choose WWP?  Well, I recently decided to stop cursing (as well as using sayings such as "That's gay") and I was contributing a quarter to my "Cursing Jar" for each thing I said that crossed my new moral line.

After a few Caps games, a weird hungover weekend, and my psychopathic boss being who she was (She's no longer employed), I had about four or five dollars in the jar.  Later that week, I was at dinner with a friend and I told him about what I was doing.  He liked the idea and decided to take it to the next level.

Anthony's idea was to A) try and stop cursing himself and B) that we should pool together our, for lack of a better word, "contributions" and donate them to WWP.  It's an amazing idea, like, really amazing in my opinion.

So that's my challenge unto you, my peeps, to drop a quarter into the bucket for each curse word you use.  Well shit (There's a quarter), even if you want to keep cursing up a storm take some money out of your pocket and donate to WWP.  If you donate, let me know and I'll match your contribution to the best of my abilities.

And I'll leave you with a video that makes me cry (All videos like this one do), and just think of all our service men and women leave behind to help defend us.  Let's do something to help those who come back.

Click the link to donate to Wounded Warrior Project.

Thank you, I hope we can make a difference.

Much love, SamWow Carroll.

@therealSamWow