My "Last" Christmas Prank

My friend just posted something that started "A few days late but..."  so I jumped in with about eight pregnancy jokes, then her mom messaged me.  Granted, her mom was pretty upset.

But, it reminded me of a story from when I was in my sophomore year of college at AACC that I wanna tell everyone, any maybe give them some ideas, or maybe it just makes me a super terrible person.  You decide.

I was dating a girl who had shattered my world about a year before but being a dumb, younger person.  I'm easily friend zoned, I'm gonna write about that one soon.

So back to the point,  Christmas time came around and I was just joking around with a few friends of mine when I said "Wouldn't it be hilarious if I got (To protect her identity lets call her "Dexy's Midnight Runner") her some baby clothes and baby supplies and put them under her familys' Christmas tree?"

We all laughed, we all thought it would be epic, a prank to be talked about for the ages.  So I went to Target.  And bought some baby clothes, a binkie thing, and almost one of those pumps for breast milk, but those were expensive, but looking at them made me laugh.

I checked out, told the cashier a bit about my prank and he laughed a bit and made a joke along the lines of "Cheaper that child support man.  That stuffs a bitch." and I went home, one hundred percent confident in my prank that had been approved by a few of my friends and a random cashier.  What more did I need?

I wrapped the presents in my traditional Legal Pad wrapping paper (Which is really just sheets off a legal pad taped hastily around a box.) and got ready to take them over to Dexy's Midnight Runner's house.  I went over to pick her up for dinner and as she as upstairs getting ready, I ran out, grabbed the gifts and put them under the tree and we left for dinner.

Three days went by and it was finally Christmas morning, which means I was probably awake at four in the morning chomping at the bit to see what was under my families Christmas tree.  Around ten thirty, I got a text message from Dexy's Midnight Runner's brother, let's call him Pete, cuz that's his name, saying "Holy shit.  Did you send these?" with a picture of baby clothes attached.

At first I laughed, a lot.  I forwarded the text and picture to all who knew about the prank, except the cashier, and it got rave reviews.  From my friends.

Around eleven, I was headed to my Grandmommy's for the big family bash, and my phone went off.  I looked down and saw a text from Dexy that read, well, it was a lot of words people don't like me using on this blog.  Safe to say she wasn't happy with it.  Cuz her parents grilled her for about twenty minutes, which may have (Which means it did happen) ended in a pregnancy test.  " Classic joke." 


When the various friends texted me back later, they all wanted to know what happened and how it went down.  Once I told them, they all basically said something along the lines of "Yeah, it never really sounded like the best idea."  I just kept asking "Why didn't you stop me?"  And they all said "It was hilarious, mostly cuz we wouldn't suffer from what would happen after."


So long story short, don't buy a girl your dating baby stuff.  It will bite you right in the ass.