Word Vomit Part Something

Hey everybody, I'm in a bit of a summer slump.  Lately I've been all about the gym, playing tennis, softball, and doing anything but thinking about what to write, but Friday something hit me and I decided to do another one of my "Word Vomit" posts, which are by far my favorite to write.

So let's start off with me talking about tampons, cuz that's the obvious path to take here.

Wait, wait, wait.  I'm gonna change something.  I'm gonna talk about "tam-puns".  Get it?  There's going to be puns.  I'M SO EXCITED!

So the other day, I was walking through Target with a lady friend of mine and she needed some, uh, "feminine hygiene products", since I'm always looking for new material, I tagged along and said things like "I'm here to soak up some information." and "How much tampon information can I absorb?"  Yes, I know those were some of the worst, most obvious, low brow jokes I can make, but I loved em.  Tampuns.  Classic.

Moving right along, from the tampon aisle (I debated typing "Tampun Kingdom") to the bedroom.  A strange segway.

I listen to a lot of FM radio cuz I constantly need to be fed sports talk when I'm not near my phone/laptop/television and in my area (The DMV), they play a ton of "Sleepy's Mattress Warehouse" commercials and all of these commercials end with the jingle "Trust Sleepy's, for the rest of your life".

Now in all my twenty two years of "wisdom" and "attentive listening" I never realized that "the rest of your life" means for like the duration, and the best rest of your life.  When I told people this they just kinda looked at me like "Yeah you idiot."

But I said it.  It's out there.  I'm happy I realized it.  This post is going great.

And now it's over.  Like the title says, word vomit haha.

I am so sorry.