Some of you will have heard this story from me before, but it's still worth telling and it's a fun story, at least I think it is.
This last Friday, I was at the "Summer Dress Party" at the Clarendon Ballroom in NoVa. I went cuz I A) love parties, B) I was invited by a friend, and C) the party was hosted by my dream employers, also known as 106.7 The Fan. Wait, there's a "D)" reason as well, I love sundresses. If I remember correctly, I even wrote a blog post about how much I love sundresses, well, not the clothing item, it's more how a girl looks in it, so freaking amazing.
Moving on. Sometimes when I write that I picture myself as Gene Wilder leaving that girl who got all blueberry in "Charlie and the Chocolate Factory". In case you're wondering, I also want to be Gene Wilder in every movie he was in with Richard Pryor.
So anyways...I'm walking around with my friend, talking, drinking (quite a bit), and overall being my goofy little self when I'm introduced to a guy so let's call him "Hipster" (As soon as I saw him I decided his name would not be worth remembering). Now, I doubt "Hipster" was a fan of the station, he probably just wandered in with his super tight jeans, comically (in the bad way) large glasses, and just his air of "feel bad for me cuz my parents have my trust fund and timeshares locked up till I'm 27 and I can't get into whatever liberal arts college is popular right now to hackey sack, play guitar shirtless, and prevent the clubbing of minority baby seals with down syndrome that are below the poverty line". After I introduced myself to him, he looked me dead in the face and asked "Sam. What brought your parents to name you that? It's kind of unique."
First off, it's not really that unique. Dogs are named Sam. So are people, roughly 32% of people according to my totally made up research. Second off, what the hell type of question is that? Hey, I just met you, and this is crazy, but here's my number, why'd your parents name you that, baby?
So I told him "I'm named after a dog my Dad really liked." and kinda walked away. I also could have said "I lied to him about it cuz I don't know why I'm named Sam really." It's a good thing I walked away, cuz his next question was probably going to ask if I had the vinyl copy of "Plastic Crying Brontosaurus in a Corporate World" or if Britt's shoes were USDA Organic...
For the record I totally made that up, but if anyone wants for their band name it we can talk price.
So later on, I'm retelling the story when it hits me, there's another story behind my name. I wasn't supposed to be Sam. Let's tell that story now. This is also the main reason for this post.
A few years back, my Pop revealed to me that when I was born, he wanted to name me "Tug", but my Mom said no.
That's really the whole story. I was gonna be named Tug, they named me Sam. And when they told me, I began to face a lifetime of disappointment.
Picture all the great things I could accomplish as a guy named Tug. Major League Baseball player, NFL linebacker or fullback, truck driver, radio host, bartender, tugboat driver, garbage man, professional shot putter, back woods golfer, auto mechanic, porn star, largely unknown bass player in a band, or eight fingered high school wood shop teacher. Endless possibilities for Tug Carroll.
Just close your eyes and think about it (Like I have thousands of times), "Now stepping up to the plate, 6'1", 240 pound Tug Carroll, batting 0.732 this season with 43 taters, 142 ribbies, and a staggering OBP. A walking, talking Hall of Famer."
Or this, "Barreling down field, shedding defenders like rain on a windshield (...?) on his march towards the end zone, Tug Carroll's aggressive running style stabs fear into the hearts of defensive coordinators and players alike." And then the glamour kind of leaves the name outside of those two prefessions.
Tug Carroll. Awesome, I'm irrationally mad at you about this one, Ma.
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