Saturday, December 10, 2011

Bring Em Back

Sports. Action movies. Food. Booze. Staring at and talking about women. These are all things that bring men together as a group to talk, bond, and get drunk. Actually, all of those things can be done/lead up to getting drunk. Watch "Waterworld" drunk and you'll really enjoy it.
There's another place where men are gathered together in a huddled mass, looking forward into the future. Or, at least forwards into a tile backsplash, cinderblock wall, or maybe just some plywood blocking you from the elements.

That place is a bathroom, with a trough.
Now this is not the ideal place to bond. Never try to bond when a man when you're in the bathroom or anywhere were genitalia are exposed. Way to risky. Walk up to a guy, lean on the wall, and say "Hey man, come here often?" will always be really creepy if skin is exposed that's in the pelvic area. Don't do it.

Back on topic. Troughs are great, it's a great way to eliminate lines at bathrooms in stadiums, arenas, and ballparks. All you need is like a ten foot long steel/porcelain/stone, well, trough, a single drain, and a bout ten urinal cakes to spread around the bottom so the whole place doesn't start to smell like straight asparagus pee.

Now, I know girls will think that this is gross that men can just congregate around a giant toilet with no stall walls or doors and just unzip and let it rip, but I mean, if you put a shot glass on the floor and told a guy that was the toilet, he'd pee innit. We're guys, we don't care where we go to the bathroom, as long as we get to "pee-pee" or "make doody" we're pretty damn happy.

Some of you may be thinking "Wow, I really think SamWow is right (again) and how it must be really mentally taxing to be batting 1.000 when it comes to being right but someone has to do it." but hopefully you're thinking that "He's right, and there need to be more troughs in public restrooms so I can be one with my fellow man." First of all, I told you that is not why we men enjoy troughs. You need to listen more. It's all about the ease and convenience of being able to pee and walk away after a rousing game of urinal cake hockey with the guy three streams down.

Save the troughs my friends, save them. By the way, I'm back.