I'm just vomitting a post

DISCLAIMER - I'm not really vomitting, it's just I don't have one good long post ready so this one will be a bunch of random one liners, random thoughts, my theories, and one shameless plug.

So I have a theory involving our friends from Asia - they travel in packs (atleast around College Park they do). If you start looking around, you'll rarely see just one walking around, there's always a few in a group moving together like a school of fish (maybe Koi fish?) or a (insert your own group of things here, I was gonna say "Terracotta Army" but I figured that didn't really work or make sense and also might be taken as racist). I think it's because of there size, a group makes them look bigger, fish do the same thing, we all saw it in Finding Nemo.

I've proven that theory multiple times and it always feels good. I'm sure the guy who cured Polio was like "Damn, nailed that cure. High five!" everytime he heard that someone was cured. {Editor's note, one quick Google search confirmed Polio has been cured, crisis adverted.}

Now if you know me, you know I've spent alot of time working in "Mom and Pop" hardware stores (roughly 4 years). I started America's Most Lucrative Career (haha, no way in hell) at "Hardware City" in Bowie, MD which shut down years ago so I moved up to "Clement Hardware" just outside of Annapolis, MD and spent two years at there.

They're really awesome places to work if you're around eighteen, you learn alot wether it's about tools, plumbing, electrical, paint, small engine repair, or hardware, the stuff I learned inside both stores will be with me for life. Maybe the best part about the hardware stores was all the stupid stuff you could do and get away with. At "Hardware City", me and Eileen used to race down the warehouse in office chairs, me and Jose used to build crazy shit out of the plumbing parts, and me and Cedric used to work out using the shelving and stuff.

Clement Hardware though, I took slacking at work to a whole new level. I worked with people who are still today some of my closest friends and if I had kept track of how many hours I spent doing everything but my job, I'd have an embarassingly large number. I'll tell you why, it's cuz if you get your work done and get it done right, you can mess around. Shocking I know. I would do my inventory and re-stock my departments, then I could go talk to the girls in paint, flirt with the cashier (well, only two of them really), mess around in the back room with Redneck Roskam, or goof off with Stefan, Dave, Derek, Andrew, and my man Joben. And I did that stuff, efficently.

Now I did get into trouble now and then, there may have been store wide memo that went around about keeping lunch times to only thirty minutes. Psh. Talk about a slap in the face, the "Carroll-Baker Memo" as I called it, was clearly directed at the forty to fifty minute lunches me and my friend Megan used to take but like most rules at that store, it was enforced for a day, then faded away with name tags and tucking in your shirt. SamWow 1, Clement Hardware 0.

Today I was told that if you get on Google and search "SamWow Blog" mine comes up in 4th place. 4th place, behind people who still use MySpace, for the love of God they use MySpace. So maybe if you're a teacher and give quizzes on a half sheet of looseleaf paper with five questions and one extra credit, you can work it out so the extra credit is SamWow Blog based so I can get some footsteps through here. Thanks, I'm off to be mad at stupid things like iTunes for playing my Dad's Nickleback instead of the O.A.R like I asked it too.