Happy March

So here we are, March 1st and post number two. I'll let you know ahead of time this is gonna be a post spanning alotta different subjects (Maybe four, dunno, don't wanna read the draft I wrote, it's all the way over...wait, it's right in front of me. Screw it.) and some just straight up random crap and jokes. I thought of a joke last night when I was looking through a book I have and I'm not gonna lie, I cracked up, it's random crap and a joke! It's "I have three coffee table books, so you could say I have alot to bring to the table." Get it? Classic. It's random, extremely corny, and maybe slightly charming (Ladies? Charming? No, okay. You're probably a bitch anyways).

Alright, quick disclamier this first one is a sports post. If you don't like sports, I'm looking at you Dave, there's only two things I have to say to you (A) die and (B) skip down a few paragraphs and you'll be out of the woods.





So the Redskins announced on Monday that they were parting ties with Bro Sweets aka Dollamite Jenkins aka Sherrif Gonna Getcha aka Southeast Jerome aka Clinton Portis, who is owed eight million dollars next season (if there is a season). Alotta people didn't like Portis for the off-field antics or the "diva" attitude but you gotta look at the mans start in Denver and move to DC.



CP came into the league as a cut and burst back, he has a home run hitter, we got him and his first run in burgandy and gold was a sixty three yard touchdown for god's sake. Then Joe Gibbs comes back (if I had the energy right now, I'd re-write a post slamming the Redskins but that would interfere with my goal to own/coach/manage the team) and decides Clinton is a Brandon Jacobs-esque running back that can lower the shoulder and crash through the o-line dragging bodies. He's not, but all the credit in the world goes to him for not crying about having to play that way, all he wanted was the rock and when he was at his best, the Redskins made the playoffs. When he got hurt the team was garbage, the broken hand, concussion, and torn groin all took two things off the field: the teams best rusher and by far the teams best pass blocker. The District of Columbia will miss #26.

Ok, sports are over, you kids can come back inside now, but take off your shoes, I don't want you trackin mud through my man cave.

Like I said at the top of the post, it's March. Finally March. Month number three of the tweleve, the month on the calander that has Mardi Gras, St. Particks Day, Labor Day in Western Australia, and the first day of spring. I guess what I'm really talking about here is spring. Flowers blooming, leaves coming back to the trees, rabbits crapping on your lawn, and your neighbor peddling his old useless crap from his garage.

Spring also brings the start of what I call "Water Season", I'm sure other people call it that too but I wanna take credit cuz I'm vain(I have a Google Alert set up for "SamWow"). Water season is great, sailboats, motor boats, canoes, kayaks, fishing boats, jet skis, and water skis. It's epic and I love taking part whenever I can. I went sailing once and didn't really do anything except remove some velcro straps and sit next the girl who was then my best friend cuz her boyfriend refused to sit with her (awkward). But I took alot of pictures and had a blast learning about sailing, it's in my families blood(maybe I made that up) and it's always had an appeal to me and I just love it, this is really random now that I kinda read back through it but oh well, my blog, my rules. And if you didn't like this paragraph and you're a guy, read the next paragraph, girls can steer clear, I don't really care.

More importantly, spring brings one of the most lovely times of year, warm weather. We know what that means. Girls all over will be showing skin and thank god right? It's the best time to drive/walk down the route one corridor through College Park cuz it's out in full force. It's girls from all over ages eighteen to twenty two walking around in flipflops(one word or two?), sun dresses, shorts, tank tops, halter tops, and naked(that last one is a lie, this isn't Salisbury). There was that one day last month in where it was about seventy degrees in Maryland and bam, it was like Spring was in full swing man, nothing but really, really, really pale winter skin but it was a teaser, a reminder of things to come like that postcard the dentist sends you every six months with some stupid kitten on it that says "Hey, we're still here, make sure you see us soon ok?".

My next post is gonna be about throwing rocks, and maybe my future wife.