Today is the exception. If you dislike the Redskins or football, go read another one of my older posts but if you like sentimental stories about love and Thai food, keep reading. It'll pay off towards the end, I promise.
So with the big playoff game against the Seattle Sea-hacks coming up Sunday afternoon, I've been thinking a lot about the Redskins teams I've watched in my twenty-two years being alive. Sadly in those twenty two years, I've watched a massive amount of suck, but I was technically alive for one Super Bowl, but I wasn't even one yet...so let's not rush to count that as anything.
Ok, so now, without further adieu, I give you my Top 10 Most Memorable Redskins Moments (For Better or Worse).
10. The 2011 Season: A Fan On The Drink Brink:
There's not a lot of good things that can be said about the Redskins in 2011. Rex Grossman, John Beck "led" the offense, the offensive line was constantly in flux (I hate you, Jamal Brown), and once again John Beck. This season actually made me want to heavily self medicate...with booze...and it still makes me mad to this day and if you're a Redskins fan, it should make you mad too. Hey, I didn't say they'd be ten good memories, now did I?9. The 2008 Season: The Year I Loved The Kool-Aid
In hind sight, it makes me sick how cised I was for this Redskins team. Jim Zorn (America's Friendliest Neighbor) had just taken the reigns, Greg Blatche was running the defense, and Al Saunder's 700 page playbook was on it's way to cash unemployment checks. The Skins went out and signed DeAngelo Hall and traded for Jason Taylor for that outside pass rush. We drafted a speedster in Devin Thomas, a big body WR in Malcolm Kelly, and Colt Brennan (Who I hated).Then the season started...and we were 6-2 and the bandwagon was in full spring. The only bad part was the season went on for eight more games, and I don't think I'll remember eight games more clearly. Picture six gut punches, two more times where you don't get punched, but he really scares you until you hit him. The Skins ended that year and I actually got excited for the following year, cuz I'm a moron.
8. Vote The Redskins Ticket: Literally
So the year is 2008 and the Skins were 6-2ish. Well, at that same time, I had just registered to vote for extra credit in History class and I was headed to the polls to vote in my own Democratic little way. Well I'm in the little voting box thing and for one of the nubby positions I selected "Write In" and proceded to type in "Jim Zorn". I was drunk off Kool Aid, and clearly "Horny for Zorny"
7. A Man Of Many Faces: Clinton Portis
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| Southeast Jerome |
YESSSSSS. Finally a bright spot in my list. The Skins traded Champ Bailey for CP26, aka "Southeast Jerome", "Kid Bro Sweets", "Sherrif Gonna-Getcha", and other names and I'll always remember his first time touching the ball in a regular season game. He took the ball right up the gut against the Bucs for a 64 yard TD run. I was instantly hooked.
In a few seasons, he was really the only consistent player on the Redskins squads. He amassed almost 7,000 yards in his seven years averaging 4.4 a clip, he found the endzone 49 times, and was a leader in the lockerroom and on the field...at least for most of it. And I loved the costumes he would don for weekly interviews, he kept things lively and loose at Redskins Park in Ashburn.
Now I'm sure a lot of people think he was terrible for the team, but he was the first Skin I could look at as a "True Redskin". I'm a 90s kid, I didn't get to see Riggo, Monk, Clark, Theisman, Butz, Mann, Manley, Hanburger, Harvey, Jacoby, Grimm, and Mosley play. He was my first Redskins "legend".
6. The "Best 22 I'll Ever See": Mark Brunell Sets A NFL Record
It was a game in Houston in 2006. I was at my Grandmommy's in Hyattsville, MD watching the game with the family. Mark Brunell completed 22 consecutive passes. I'll always remember that, what a terrible memory.
5. Don't Call It A Comeback: The Return of Joe Gibbs
I'll always remember this. I was a freshman at DeMatha Catholic High School in the pre-smart phone era and there were rumors swirling about Joe Gibbs returning to the Redskins. All I really knew about Joe was that he had led the Redskins to three Super Bowl victories and was an "Offensive genius", no one told me that label was given in 1981, but either way. We had a Hall of Fame coach coming to back to the Skins.
Joe Gibbs took the team to a place I had never really seen, the playoffs. In both 2005 and 2007 the Skins marched into the playoffs, the '07 campaign I remember the most vividly with the "5-0 or we don't go" mantra.
Joe brought in players that Redskin nation loved in Chris Cooley, Clinton Portis, Sean Taylor, London Fletcher, and others. Ultimately, Gibbs ended his second stint at 38-46 with a 1-2 record in the playoffs, but at least he brought us playoffs.
4. My Man Crush: The Mike Sellers Edition
Question: Who's the sexiest, most talented, down to earth, dominant 6'3" two hundred and seventy three pound person on earth?
Answer: This guy. Not me, the picture below this.
Yes. That's right. Mike Sellers, aka "Caveman", "Bam-Bam", and "Dat Boy". Mike was a bruising blocker as a lead runner for Clinton Portis, stud pass blocker for the thousand Redskins QBs he played with, and had some of the softest hands the NFL has seen on a man his size (Which allowed him to rack up 21 total TDs as a Skin).
Mike Sellers is right up there on my Mount Rushmore of Redskins players (That I've watched, not of all time, chill) and is probably my favorite Redskin of all time.
And no, I didn't forget the time he was on the news and they surprised him with the news that he was having another baby girl, it's just the link on WJLA-ABC7's website is dead (I'm writing them an angry letter as we speak). You'll just have to trust me it was a majestic moment.
3. Alfred Does Dallas: December 30th, 2012
Finally, we're in 2012. The new Redskin team, the team that's ripped off seven straight wins, the last one being the most majestic...let me paint you a word picture:
It's a cold, still night in Landover, the NFC East is on the line and the Dallas Cowboys are coming to town with America's Hype Machine shoved so far up their ass I see it poking out of Jerry Jone's wrinkly old catcher's mitt of a face. The team that wins marches into the playoffs, loser goes home. This is the type of game December football is built for.
The crowd in FedEx Field (America's Largest Coffee Filter) is 98% Redskins, which is a miracle in itself that I'll get into soon, and they're hungry. The Redskins take the field and they're hungry. The Cowboys took the field and showed they had no hunger. The Redskins game plan hardly changed, Alfred Morris pounded the Dallas D for 200 yards and three TDs, RGIII scored on a ten yard keeper, and the maligned defense picked off Tony Romo (America's Choke Artist) and ripped the hearts out of the Dallas offense. It was amazing.
I've seen a few great games against the Cowboys including the 14-13 miracle in Dallas, the game at FedEx where Cooley caught three TDs in a blow out, and the 2012 Thanksgiving Day game where RGIII blew the roof off Jerry's World, but Week 17 I'll take to my grave.
2. The Most Shocking Loss: Redskins Lose To Thai Food & Bowling
I never miss a Redskins game, like, never. Preseason, regular season, post season I watch em all. It can be a 52-0 win, or a 52-0 loss and I'm watching. Except in the 2011 preseason game against the Buccaneers. I had scheduled a date with a Blonde silly that night (I'm 90% sure it was a Thursday).We got Thai food (Which I had never had before) and then proceded to go bowling where I got my ass handed to me, twice (The second game in heart breaking come-from-behind fashion). I was a big fan of this girl, and to put it in math terms, She > Redskins. You all probably think it's a pathetic #2 but it's my list so "Suck failure" (Credit for that quote to Anthony @MDs_Own).
1. ST21
When I decided to write this, it instantly became a question of what the other 9 spots will be. There was no doubt in my mind the story of Sean Taylor was number one. Call me bias, but there's no other spot for him on this list.
When Sean Taylor came into the league, he was a magnet for penalty flags for pass interference and unnecessary roughness as well as off the field troubles in 2004 and 2005. He was a bit of a free lancer and was a very unpolished athlete instead of being a football player (There's a huge difference). As his career wound on, he seemed to get his head on right, he had a kid, settled down with his girlfriend, and became a vocal leader and a big time play maker.
Then November 2007 rolled around and you know the rest of story. Sean's house in Miami was broken into, he got up to defend the house, and was shot. The bullet severed his femoral artery and he passed away the next day. I remember shedding a tear when I heard (Cuz I'm a wuss) and bro-hugging a few guys at DeMatha that day. It was a crushing blow to the fans, and the team. It destroyed Joe Gibbs, Clinton Portis, and others.
Kind of a sad end to this list, but I think a lot of guys my age remember this vividly as well. It was my first real "sports disaster" and made me realize that sports has a huge affect on my life and lives in the DMV and it will always be planted in my brain.
So that's my list, maybe you disagree with a lot of it and if you do, let me know, cuz I'd love to hear what you all remember most about the Redskins franchise. Until next time, HTTR.
