Look Ma! I'm on the TV!

A giant nosed thrity-one year old co-worker of mine once told me "Hey Sam, you should have your own talk show." I had no clever response, I still don't. I want my own talk show and I'm gonna talk about what I wanna do on it and why I wanna do it. This introduction paragraph was alot longer in the draft but it was pointless and rambled on (like this sentence) so I cut it (unlike this sentence).

Picture it man, every night at _ _ : _ _ PM on _______, America's #1 Network, beaming into your living room, me, The Real SamWow. Well, don't picture it. I know what you're thinking, "We took Howard Stern off the TV ," you say "We need to keep these uggos off the TV, put them on the radio!" If you didn't know, Howard Stern is really ugly. Also, the word "uggos" means ugly. There we go, I taught you guys something. Mission accomplished.

So why do I want to do a talk show? That's easy. I love making people laugh, smile, and feel good. It's why I like waking up in the morning and it's probably something I try to hard at sometimes, but I need it to survive.

I'd love to be able to run out onto stage every night, wait for the que, then dive into my monolouge, joking about the current whatever, doing some stupid gesture ("POP, POP!"), do a bad impression, and my personal favorite, doing a really white, really stupid dance.

Another reason is I love pop culture for some reason. I love television, movies, magazines, all of it. I want to meet people from my favorite movies like Will Smith, Natalie Portman, James Franco, Anne Hathaway, Jake Gyllenhall, Jeff Bridges, Bill Murray, Jessica Biel, and Matt Damon.

I want to do interviews with some football player or coach who just won the Super Bowl and brings the Lombardi trohpy to the set, I want to meet Tiger Woods and thank him for getting me to like golf, and I want to talk to Rick Reilly (former Sports Illustrated writer) and thank him for driving my love of writing.

I'd want to meet and talk to the "average" person that has to became extraordinary in an unusual circumstance. The Sully Sullenbergers of the world, the Major Dick Winters, the Chad Urmstoms. The people who have a story or message that doesn't get the recognition they deserve.


We all have seem when the host says "Well (Celebrity Name), thanks for stopping by." Then the show cuts to commercial. If you watch the talk shows, just before commercial, the host leans in and talks to the guest. What do they say? I have an idea...

Me - "Hey Will (Smith), thanks for coming by, really means alot. Love the suit."
Will Smith - "Thanks man, I've been reading your blog since the "Potty Talk" post, good shit Brah, good shit."
Me - "Really? (I'm super excited so I lie to him and say) Thanks man, I really enjoyed you in that movie 'Hancock'".
Will Smith - "Haha, thanks but you don't need to lie. I'm sorry for 'Hancock' I didn't like it either but I needed the money, shoulda let Nicholas Cage do that one."

I have that talk in my head alot, that Will Smith is just such a nice guy.

Now onto the guests and what not. I already made a promise to a good friend of mine that he could be first up. He hails from the five-oh-eight, also known as Massachusets. And his name is Mike, but to some(just me) he's known "Milford Swagger" (or he doesn't and hates that nickname).

You all have seen his work. He was in all the viral hits from a few years back like "Glove Hero", "Anti-Thesis", and "Free Running Rock Out Style Parts One & Two". He's just your usual "Dude" who loves sports, Goldfish, and Buffalo Wild Wings (Aww hell yeah, I should just host the show from there).

Now I don't know who my second guest would be. Maybe my Grandmommy. I don't think many talk shows have rolled into existence with two unknown guests. "And tonight, on The SamWow Show, Mike and Grandmommy with musical guests the people I know that were in Severna Parks band!" That's not going to get the pull we need to keep the show going, even though that would be an epic show for me, but I know those people.

Ok, so that's all I got. This post was kinda made from thirteen different paragraphs on six different pages so I hope people like it but the truth is I'm low on ideas for new posts. If you have any ideas for me, let me know and I'll get back to writing.

Also, hopefully, this post doesn't suck.