Guess Who's Back?

Oh hey there, I didn't see you over these piles of paperwork (non-existent paperwork, unless all my legal pads and copies of "Sports Illustrated" from last year count as paperwork) and the fact that "Words With Friends" and Wordfeud have taken over my life (for the record, in between both those games my record is like, 0-400). This is random.

So yeah, the blogging took a back seat, or maybe I treated it like "Home Alone" and I'm just getting back home on the truck with John Candy. Truth be told, I was kind of in a mindset to just put the blog in the ground and kill it (in that order, I like to make sure you'll fit in the grave before I get out the old tarp and shovel). But I'm not going too, this blog keeps me writing and keeps you guys smiling and keeps some people wondering "What's wrong with this guy?"

There's nothing wrong with me, I'm just that awesome. And Remember how I told you I was gonna buy my kids gold plated monkeys? This blog needs to keep going if that's still going to happen, the Nigerian Prince that e-mailed me told me he has a few extras I can have if I send my social security number and credit card information. Done and done, Prince Amukamara. Haha, I think a few people will get that joke, and if you don't, Google him. He's a real person.

I guess the reason I'm back doing this today is that since Sunday, people have been busting on me to get back to doing this. Family, friends, "Bluth from DeLuth" (Shout out to my boy Bluth! Go Brewers! You loser. For those of you I haven't told, "Bluth" is a guy who found my blog somehow and started reading and talking to me. He's an awesome guy, loves beer, baseball, football, and his Golden Gophers. He's not really a loser either.), basically a lot of people have been getting on me about starting to post again, so here I am.

Also, during my extensive break (I dunno if it was extensive, it has felt like a really long time), I went back a re-read all the stuff from my writing portfolio. I've got old book reports from grade school, the "Butterfly Story" from my "ME Book" (4th grade, SPX, everyone who made one should go back and re-read what they wrote, it's hilarious stuff in mine) and one day I will post that story on here, maybe when I get home today. It's a beautiful tale.

Uh, what else was in there? A note that Anne and I kept passing back and forth to each other from 8th grade (also awesome stuff), a lot of stuff from my creative writing and poetry classes, and just pieces of novels and other books I've failed to finish.

But I realized something as I re-read all this stuff. I "grade" my own writing too hard and I'm far too hard on myself. Looking back, I had a tendency to over edit, rip out words that "weren't good enough" and damn was I stupid. The rough drafts were so much better than the final product.

I think the problem is in the back of my head, every great writer had some sort of problem, Hemingway, Joyce, Fitzgerald, Faulkner, Capote, and Poe were all drunks or struggled with alcohol and depression and there's countless writers who thought that the things they wrote weren't up to snub with (fill in the blank) and just blew up what they wrote (I literally blow up bad blog posts, one brick of C4, boom, then I go buy a new computer). That's what went on in my head, and it turns out that's not true at all, I should just write what I want instead of writing something, hating it, and not letting it see the light of day.

I want to go down as a great writer. Maybe not in the same realm as Mark Twain, Charles Dickens, Edgar Allen Poe, or Chiuna Achebe (maybe not a house hold name, but he's by far my favorite author and his book "Things Fall Apart" is still one of my favorites all thanks to Mr. Haller who taught my world literature class at DaMafUh) and the others I mentioned above, but that's okay. Those men are legends.

So I may never become a household name, write a novel, pen a memoir, collaborate on a script, but hell, compose a speech for a politician, but all that's just icing on the cake. I'd be thrilled writing a column for a newspaper (or should I just stop saying newspaper and say website? God I hate the fact that if I do become a columnist, I probably won't get to literally hold my first column in my hands, but that's an anger I'll let out another time. Wow, that was a slight off topic rant), editing some poor smhuck's drafts, or just writing this blog in my spare time. Which brings me to my next topic...

Women.

Not really, just wanted to throw an off speed pitch by ya there. "Cuz it's one, two three strikes you walk..."

What I really wanted to do with these closing statements is thank you, the readers. No joke, if I could, I would find every last one of the people who read this thing and hug you. You're allowing me to keep doing this, if no one read this, I'd probably be moving up to Buffalo right now. So thank you for the comments, ideas, feedback (which I guess is redundant cuz I already said comments, my blog, my rules), and for all the love.

So that's all I got, my grand return to the stage, and the marking of the new start of a lot of things in my life. Just remember I want some more guest posts, some more ideas, and any feelings you guys have on beards (hopefully that will be my next post) you can send to my inbox on Facebook. If you put it on my wall or comment it on a status, then everyone can see what the post will be about and it's totally worthless, it's like if I told you at the end of Fast Five, ********* gets arrested, ******* & **** have a baby, and **** ****** is naked. None of those are accurate, at least I think they're not, they're just there to prove a point.

I'm back.