Summertime and The Livins Easy

So about two weeks ago I went to a wine (vomit) festival in a little old place I call "Three Hours From Home", Virginia with a friend and his co-workers. It was called Valley Fest, and they had a lot of wine, beer, and some awesome bar-b-que but I noticed something far more important there that I should have wrote about two weeks ago.

Girls. More specifically, girls in sundresses.

That's right, my Official Sign of Summer's Start. Screw Memorial Day, when pools open, the first day out of school, or any of that other crap. For me, summer starts with the first girl I see in a sundress. And flip-flops. And avaitors. And who has blonde hair, a Southern accent, brown eyes, stands about 5'5", and that has a rich father who will see me as the son he could never have and shower me with love and upon meeting me (A) writes me into his will, (B) allows me to marry his daughter, and (C) let's me choose which of the fine automobiles I would like to drive from his stable of fine automobiles.

This woman has been elusive to say the least and I hope every girl I've dated that wants me back (Haha, none of them want me back.) will read this and get on the ball.

I feel those jokes could have offended some people. Oh well, like Mike Birbiglia once said, "Some people laughed, some people didn't, so I was one for one."

Now, back on topic (for a brief time until I go off on another random tangent). Summer is finally here. I spent all of Memorial Day hanging out with my boys Dave, Josh, and James (aka "Cheeks") in "America's Largest Whites Only Country Club" also known as Anne Arundel County.

We had a "blasty-blast bitch tits Ninja!" to put it as Dave would. He doesn't really talk like that, but he does talk in catch phrases and those are some of them so I guess that counts. By the way, the random tangent counter for this post in up to #2. Lifetime counter for this blog is probably in the low seventies, it's like this blog is just my brain on the internet; random crap until I find a point and try like hell to stick with it. That was #3.

So yeah, summer is finally here. Time for shorts, flip flops, tank tops, bathing suits, sunglasses, convertibles, and, ya know, stuff.

It's a time to hit the beach with your friends and family. Which is awesome. Get that beach house, hotel room on the boardwalk, or tent on the beach. Whatever it is. Buy some sunscreen, a kite, ice, soda, water, towels, beach ball, beach umbrella, and a cooler. And beer. A ton of beer. Like, cases upon cases of Natty Boh (Gotta represent that Mura-land {Maryland}) and get blitzed and jump into something or drop the Atomic Elbow on a pool float.

It's a beautiful thing to be on the beach. My family rents a big ole house in the Outer Banks and just parties it up for a week. There's beer, card games, a pool table, movies, a poker table, a fooseball table, and most importantly, two hot tubs and a pool. And most years, there's a pretty banging fireworks show that the family puts on (Carroll's tend to be pyromaniacs) and we usually get a god bonfire going down there on the beach and spend a few hours sitting around it talking and drinking and just having a blast.

What else comes with summer? I guess going to the pool? I haven't had a pool membership since Glenn Dale Country Club closed down like, fifteen years ago but I'll always remember four things about that place. One, the water fountain tasted like copper. Two, the floor of the bathroom felt really weird on bare feet. Three, that one life guard was wayyy hot, even when I was six, I think she's the reason I have a thing for pierced belly buttons. Weird. Four, Coach PeeWee tried to teach me how to dive, still working on it Coach!

I like going to baseball games too in the summer. My friends and I went to a Baysox game well before "Summer Dress Day 2011" but I went to one after that so I'll write on it anyways. Baseball games are great whether you like baseball or not. It's you, your friends, beers, hot dogs, nice weather, and occasionally fireworks.

The first one we just kinda heckled, well, not just kinda. We heckled the crap out of the Richmond Flying Squirrels. We laughed, talked, ate, drank, and been merry (that's terrible english). And we took a ton of pictures, one of which is sitting next to me on my desk, and that picture will travel with me for years to come. I love this picture, it's got a lot of my favorite, most beloved people in it and soon I'll get one with all of those damn people in it. "That's Mahoney!"

That's really all I have for right now. It felt kinda random, but whatever. I'm confident and I liked it so it ain't nothing but a thang chicken wang (Proper people would say "Nothing but a thing, chicken wing" but I roll fresh outta "A Livable Community" aka "Gawjus" Prince George's so I say it different. Tangent #4.)

I've really slacked hard on updating this stuff, I'm gonna fix that. I need more ideas though, please please please if there's a story, opinion, or something you want to read about or that you want to write about, let me know.