Sunday, December 23, 2012

SamWow's Things: Year In Review 2012.

I'm baaaackkkkkkkk!

So I know I haven't posted in over a month and I have zippy excuses for you, the god's honest truth is I'm slothful, lazy, sluggish, indolent, idle, shiftless, and any other synonyms you can think of that go with that idea, and for that I truly apologize.  Even though I'll never speak to half of you or see your lovely faces (if you're a young lady with a lovely face, hit me up on Twitter/Facebook, information is below), I still feel as though I've let you all down, so this is how I'll make it up to you with The RealSamWow Year in Review 2012!

I was hoping that you read that the same way Oprah says "Oprah's favorite thinggggggggsss!" and all the middle aged women and their husbands go mad, jumping up and down and screaming.  This'll be just as good, maybe.  And if you look under your seat, you'll see the carpet/hardwood/tile or whatever else is under you.  Maybe there's some change in the couch, if so, you're welcome.  Let's start right about now.

The best thing I did in 2012 was (prepare for something on the opposite side of my usual craziness) find out that I have self esteem, confidence, and a bunch of those other qualities that makes someone a functioning adult.  I've learned to stay intact with my emotions and other stuff.  So that's all we'll talk about on that, cuz I don't wanna get all sappy and emotional.  Just know I'm kicking ass and feeling great, so chew on that, haters.

Probably the worst thing I did in 2012 let a lot of friendships fall to the wayside.  I was in a long term(ish) relationship and I put all my energy into that and blew off trips to Blacksburg, College Park, DC, and other places.  It's all my fault that it happened, and it's how I earned my nickname "Flakes", cuz I "always be flakin', Flakes".

Ok, so I just wanted to say the more serious things.  Now I'll dive into the silly, ridiculous, and amazing.

The most embarrassing thing I did in 2012 happened only a few months ago.  I was in Target trying on some new shirts and pants and stuff.  I wrapped up and walked out of the dressing rooms with my coat on and the clothes I was trying on in my hand.  And I realized I wasn't wearing a shirt, like, at all.  I was about twenty paces from the dressing rooms, clothes in hand, coat on, shirtless under.  A few people saw me and kinda gave me a "What da eff" look.

I just hope that somewhere, on a security camera,  your boy SamWow is wondering out of the rooms without a shirt, cuz I would love to see the sheer look of terror/embarassment/and (eventually) the smile and laugh that followed that moment.

I also took a few trips this year, so the prestigious award for best trip I took in 2012 comes down to my week in Bermuda, my couple of days in the Outer Banks, or my weekend in Virginia Tech.  I dunno which to choose, on one hand Bermuda was epic...but let's just say the memory is tainted....the OBX trip was good, but I was only there for a few days...and VT was amaz-balls except when that stuff happened that made it less than epic....and the winner is...the Outer Banks!

My few days in the OBX were packed with #shambles moments.
I spent two days drunk, driving, and hanging out with my lovely cousins.  I also shouldn't put "drunk" right next to "driving", I didn't do that.  I drove down there with my Bro (aka BroBeans) and smoked a cigar and sang "Whiter Shade of Pale", ate multiple burgers from multiple places, and drank multiple drinks full of drink, and smoked cigars with my best friends in the world.  There's also the annual "Cousin Bonding/Heart-to-Heart thing" that seems to come up yearly.  And for the record, I'm posing in the picture, that's not a natural moment.

I was going to do a "best movie of 2012" bit but I don't really remember all the movies I saw (Dark Knight, Hunger Games, uhhh...crap sandwich that's all I got) so instead I'll do a movie I watched a lot in 2012.  The movie was "I, Robot" for like the fourth straight year.  This was a terrible category.

Now I'll do some quick hitters and wrap this thing up...

Best sports moment of 2012 was Joel Ward's game winner against the Bruins.  Amazing night.

Best album purchase of 2012 was Naughty By Nature's Greatest Hits CD.

The thing I drank most of in 2012 that's not water or milk was whiskey, duh.  Beer a close second.

The thing I ate the most of in 2012 was buffalo wings, DUH.  Close second is salad, weird mix.

The drunkest I got in 2012 was probably in Blacksburg, or one of the nights on the Bermuda cruise, or something else all together.  Probably don't remember, I was drunk.

The thing I should have done way before 2012 is date a sportscaster.  Oh.  My.  God.  She was amazing.

The thing(s) I should have done more of in 2012; went to the gym more, eat more crab cakes, and quitting jobs.

That's all I got, this is mostly to get me back to blogging on a somewhat frequent basis so I avoid slipping down the path of crippling delusion, depression, and diarrhea 

See you soon, and Merry Christmas to you all!