Sometimes that dream involves me literally stealing hobo's feet (I cut them off...), or me sewing together pairs of shoelaces to make new clothes, or my longest running dream of me chasing a blonde girl through a hardware store (Four years is kinda too long, in my humble opinion).
But I want to talk about the dream I had last night. It was one of those rare (At least for me) dreams where I woke up really thinking about stuff. Like life. And life decisions.
It started off with me sitting on the fishing pier in the Outer Banks (Mile marker 19ish I believe) and I'm just chilling by myself for a bit, staring up at the sunset. I hear a voice come up from behind and I turn to see a ten year old me walking up and sitting next to me.
 |
This already sounds weird, but I'm gonna tell you anyways. Cuz I love you, readers.
Where was I? Oh yeah, we start talking and he's asking if I'm still friends with Michael, Ryan, Joe, Joel, and the other guys and girls. He asks about what it's like to drive a car, to own video games, and to be six feet tall. Then the little turd asks about what I'm doing for a job and I froze.
All the jobs I wanted flashed through my mind. Photographer, firefighter, teacher, comedian, writer, phone man (Like Pop), director, and professional recess, uh, person. And then I looked to Little SamWow and told him what I do, and he looked so damn sad. Like, he'd never cry (Cuz I never have, and never will), but he was probably the closest he's ever come to it.
Then I ruined it and woke up in sleep deprived panic. Like how you see in movies, where like, Jake Gyllenhaal wakes up, sits up, and puts his head in his hands like "Holy damn." Except, I'm not Jake Gyllenhaal (I'm more of a Seth Rogen type if you listen to the dummies who tell me I look "just like him"). So I write it down after I come to my senses a bit and lay back down in the hopes of having one of those "If I Fall Back Asleep Fast Enough I Can Restart The Dream I Abruptly Ended By Waking Up Like An Idiot".
Didn't work, like, at all. Just tossed and turned for a bit before I passed back out and performed my daily morning routine of "Hear Alarm, Curse, Stumble Out Of Bed".
But it made me think, which is something I try to avoid, about what I am doing with my life. I'm tired of the old "It's a bad job market" excuse and the "financial security" argument I keep making. It's probably time that I just go ahead with my head held high and find the job I want and that I'll love.
So that's that. Just had to get that off my chest, even though it's kinda cryptic. I guess I just wanna say that every once in a while you should go back and talk to your ten year old self, you never know what that might be able to teach you.
