Word Vomit Part Something

Hey everybody, I'm in a bit of a summer slump.  Lately I've been all about the gym, playing tennis, softball, and doing anything but thinking about what to write, but Friday something hit me and I decided to do another one of my "Word Vomit" posts, which are by far my favorite to write.

So let's start off with me talking about tampons, cuz that's the obvious path to take here.

Wait, wait, wait.  I'm gonna change something.  I'm gonna talk about "tam-puns".  Get it?  There's going to be puns.  I'M SO EXCITED!

So the other day, I was walking through Target with a lady friend of mine and she needed some, uh, "feminine hygiene products", since I'm always looking for new material, I tagged along and said things like "I'm here to soak up some information." and "How much tampon information can I absorb?"  Yes, I know those were some of the worst, most obvious, low brow jokes I can make, but I loved em.  Tampuns.  Classic.

Moving right along, from the tampon aisle (I debated typing "Tampun Kingdom") to the bedroom.  A strange segway.

I listen to a lot of FM radio cuz I constantly need to be fed sports talk when I'm not near my phone/laptop/television and in my area (The DMV), they play a ton of "Sleepy's Mattress Warehouse" commercials and all of these commercials end with the jingle "Trust Sleepy's, for the rest of your life".

Now in all my twenty two years of "wisdom" and "attentive listening" I never realized that "the rest of your life" means for like the duration, and the best rest of your life.  When I told people this they just kinda looked at me like "Yeah you idiot."

But I said it.  It's out there.  I'm happy I realized it.  This post is going great.

And now it's over.  Like the title says, word vomit haha.

I am so sorry.

SamWow versus the Gym

That's right.  I go to the gym, Planet Fitness to be exact, (A reasonable one dollar sign up fee?  Then only ten dollars a month?  Sign me up for those amazingly low prices!  Shameless plug, hopefully someone will see it and PAY ME).

Why do I go to the gym you ask?  Well clearly it's to clean up with the ladies, or because I like hanging out in sweaty locker rooms, or because I'm fat.  Hint, it's the last one.

Now, I'm not fat fat, but I could stand to lose about twenty or so pounds and I've been working hard on it.  I'm eating better, drinking only sugar free soda (And trying really hard to cut out all soda), and trying to have under 25 grams of sugar a day.  I made a deal with myself at the start of the year and decided to try and lose 30ish pounds by January 2013.

So far, that goal isn't looking great.  It's really tough to lose weight when you sit around writing, talking, and working a desk job.  Like right now, I should be going to the gym but instead I'm watching "Taxi" (You know...with Queen Latifah, Jimmy Fallon, and Giesle Bundchen) and flipping back and forth between the Western Conference Finals in the NHL and watching the Heat get beat by the Pacers (AGAIN!).

Why am I writing this post about how bad I am about going to the gym?  Cuz I'm hoping this will keep me honest in going, at the end of each post, I'm gonna list how many times I went to the gym and my weight after each trip.  So basically, this post is entirely for me.

So you're probably asking "They why the hell am I reading this?"  Cuz I have the t-shirt designs.  Check out the front and back and let me know the size you want, if you want a shirt that is, and I'll try to scrape an order together.

Photo Wednesday

Hey guys.  Thought I'd bring back Photo Wednesday.  So here it is, one of the best photographs I've ever taken (Or so I think).  

T-Shirts!

Hey everyone.  I was talking to my spirit guide, Anthony Nelson (@MDsOwn), this weekend and we've decided to make a RealSamWow t-shirt.

If I can get enough interest, I'll go ahead and make up a few and let me know if you want one and the size you need.

So hit me up on Facebook (SamWow Carroll or my Official Fan Page), Twitter (@therealSamWow), or e-mail (samcarroll9@gmail.com) and let me know.

I'll get a new post up this week so stay tuned.

The Good Ole Hockey Game

It's hockey season, and maybe for once people outside the diehard Washington Capital's fans are taking notice, tuning in, and rooting for the Weagle (If you didn't know, that's what we call the logo here in the DMV).  Even people that have been watching hockey their whole lives, like myself, feel a rejuvenated feel in this season, and it's really tough not too be giddy about each game.

That's not what I'm here to talk about, but I'm gonna talk about it anyways.  This Caps team feels like they're built for something big, something special, something maybe...worthy of a parade.

Thousands and thousands of people groan for shots off the post, hold their breath when the puck comes flying towards the Cap's net, and explode with cheers when the Cap's turn on the lights.  They celebrate with strangers in bars, feel euphoria for days after a big win (Or maybe that's just me), and most important have faith in a team that is a winner.  Something this city has been craving since the early nineties.  As someone who was raised a DC diehard, it feels great to finally have a team that I don't feel will let me down (I'm looking at you, Skins).

So what am I saying?  To be honest I don't know.  I could just say this, when Saturday morning comes and you're getting dressed, Rock The Red.  At every red light, roll down your window, honk your horn three times and yell "LET'S GO CAPS!", at 8 'o' clock, start chanting "O-V" for a few minutes, punching Penguins/Bruins/Flyers/Rangers/Canucks/Canadiens fans in the face, blow your speakers out with the "Unleash The Fury" video on YouTube, and if you're building something, make it "America's Hockey Capital" (That one was lame, but it's the team slogan...).

Time to play seven.

Go Caps.  

Sorry if this is a crazy random post.

My Year on the Road Part Three - Boston

My third and final trip of 2011, headed north to Milford/Boston, Massachusetts in October.

My friends Mike and Leah are getting married this summer and they had they decided to the engagement party in the Mike's hometown of Milford, Massachusetts so Kelly and I hopped in my car and headed, well, North.

People say I move to fast, but I mean come on, it's a billboard.
Classy.

So we're driving through Pennsilyvania, sitting in traffic playing "Never Have I Ever" for hours when I looked out my windows and saw the billboard pictured below...and luckily, we both laughed and took pictures before the trip continued on.

Somehow, my GPS decided not to take us up I-95 and instead we drove through New York City, fighting traffic the whole way to our hotel in Milford, finally arriving there around eleven.

The next morning (Well, more like afternoon) we went out for lunch and some sight seeing before hitting the party in the evening.  We wandered around Milford, looking at buildings and going to 7-11before the party kicked off.  So now, Milford pictures.

So the next day after exploring and conquering Milford, Kelly and I packed up the room and headed to Boston for a day of sight seeing.  Pictures again, and that's the end of my "On The Road" for 2011.  Awkward segway, but I'll let the photos speak for themselves.

Bar and Grille

Paul Revere's Tomb

Massachusetts State House

Just proof Kelly was there.

Fish Filets at Beantown Pub are huge.

Fin.

My Year On The Road - Part Two Buffalo

Round Two of my "Year of Travel 2011 Edition".  Welcome to beautiful Buffalo New York.

So let me back up a bit and fire up the WayBack Machine (Thanks, Wyatt) and go to a few months before the trip.  My "brother" Matt told me about "The Tenth Annual Buffalo Wing Fest" being held Labor Day Weekend in (Duh) Buffalo, New York.

My jaw hit the keyboard making a kind of "bnhngbnb bvghgghb bhbbnnbbvbn" type of response and next thing you know, our countdown was on.

So fast forward to the night before our trip, it was a Thursday, Matt and I had taken off work Friday to drive down.  I was over at my girlfriend's house hanging out and I fell asleep on the couch.  Now, for this next part, keep in mind that I was staring down the barrel of a seven hour drive.

I woke up to see Kelly standing over me saying "It's 4:20."  It was 4:20AM, we went to bed around midnight or one so there wasn't much sleepy time between one to four.  I didn't believe her, cuz I'm dumb, and she told me a few more times that it was 4:20AM so I jumped off the couch, grabbed whatever belongings I had, and bolted.

I drove home and got a bit of sleep before Matt got there around seven. I woke up, grabbed my bag, and got into the car and he headed North on Route 15, a beautiful, scenic highway through Pennsylvania.  There were at least 25 billboards letting Matt and I know "PORN FOR SALE" and "Cheapest Porn on Rt. 15" and things of the sort, and I'm glad to say we made only one stop...at Taco Bell.  For tacos and gorditas, get your mind out of the gutter.

 So then we hit New York and blazed through the last few hours of our road trip.  We got to Buffalo and dropped our stuff off at Dan's (He had to go out and do a Fantasy Football Draft so I already liked him) and took off again.  Matt and I went to Anchor Bar (Home of the First Buffalo Wing, thanks Dominic's Friends!) followed by a bit of catch at a local elementary school then went to Dick's Sporting Goods (My favorite store of all time), where Matt took a giant crap, and then we went to get some beers and watch some football (TCU versus Baylor inna huge shootout, if only I knew the Skins would get RGIII then...).

So fast forward to the next day, we wake up and pile into Dan's car and head towards Coca-Cola Field, home of Buffalo Wing Festival 10.  Our Mecca.

Now, to get any wings you need to buy tickets, if I remember right (I probably don't) you could get three wings for two tickets.  Matt and I bought a ton of tickets and took off to sample wings from all over the United States.  Some of the wings were terrible (Better Cheddar Wings shouldn't exist...) and some were amazing but Matt and I both decided that the best of the best were the "Almost Famous Peanut Sauce Wings" from a wing joint in Seattle, Washington.

Now, I think I ate around thirty wings, Matt probably ate the same if not more, which is more than enough when you think about it.  And there were so many awesome sauces coating my fingers.

But the fun didn't end there.  After a few hours of wings, we wanted some air conditioning, some sports, and some beers so we walked on down to Pearl Street Bar & Grill and knocked back a few local brews before heading back to the car.

On the way back, we hit up the liquor store (They do ten dollar growlers) for some more drinks then Might Taco (Cuz we really needed more food....).  Let me say this, I love Taco Bell, always will, but Mighty Taco blew that place out of the water. Much better tacos, much better nachos, much better EVERYTHING.

After a "necessary" taco and beer run, we went back to Dan's to watch the LSU/Oregon tilt, eat tacos, an drink beers before turning in for the night.

Now, there is one more note about the awesome road trip that was "Big Guy and Chief go to Buffalo". On the way back through Pennsilyvania, we found heaven in Williamsport in the form of a...wait for it....all you can eat KFC Buffet.

The trip was epic, and as Matt recently put it "Wings, Beer, and bars that don't close till 4AM, what more could you want?"